Let Go Of Control, Worry Less And Set Yourself Free!
What exactly means to be free? For most people, it means a lot more than just “free to do whatever I want”. We will be discussing freedom of choice not as a mean of bringing us some kind of benefit but because it is only then that we achieve our fulfilment as human beings. The human being stands apart from other animals not because of emotions or reasoning, but because of a superior capacity for making decisions.
Often times, we try to help and guide just to be rejected which adds unnecessary tension in our relationships with others. This tends to happen when we impose our ideas and opinions on others without realising. And we might think the right thing to do is tell others to do this or that because is good for them or because it worked for you. But let’s pause for a second. How would you feel if someone told you that you shouldn’t be a vegan because is bad for you or that you should drink milk because is good for your bones? Meanwhile, you’re a vegan for your very own personal reasons and you enjoy it and you don’t drink milk because you dislike the taste or it bloats you up.
In reality, we’re free to choose what’s best for us. We compare situations, we assess plus and minuses and we decide what’s best for us. As much as we all want freedom, is absolutely essential to understand that others are entitled to their own freedom as much as we are. Acting as we please without judgement and allowing others to the same is the key to happiness, healthier relationships and less stress.
Long lasting, healthy and happy relationships highly rely on the concept of freedom. But why is freedom of choice so important especially in relationships? The desire to help could be misunderstood as dominant and controlling so is essential to acknowledge when are we truly helping and when are we actually limiting the other person’s freedom. There are endless scenarios in life to look at when discussing freedom of choice.
For example, if you want your partner to join you for a run on a Sunday morning at 9 am but they tell you they don’t know if that time would work as they want a lie-in, you get annoyed and tell them sleeping late on a Sunday is a waste of time. You’re free to get up early and go for a run the same way your partner is free to sleep in. By judging others choices, we presume we know better or that our ways are better. But by letting go of these feelings we acknowledge their freedom and we free ourselves at the same time. Is not easy to make the switch but be aware of your thoughts and identify when you’re not acting from a place of freedom and change that. Practising some mindfulness will help you change your thoughts making you worry and stress less about others’ choices. You will then notice your relationships becoming calmer, more enjoyable and less tense. It’s like lifting a weight off our shoulders.
Freedom of choice has a positive effect in psychological well being by providing people with a greater sense of control over their lives and boosting the feelings of empowerment and confidence.